The best friend is always the trickiest kind of man in our lives. As Billy Crystal says in When Harry Met Sally- “Men and women can never really be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.” Perhaps, there is some truth to that line- although for many women- some of their most successful relationships with other human beings- is their male friends.
We find ourselves in the midst of an age-old conflict: where do we stop being friends, and start being more? Our relationships with our best friends of the opposite sex, or in some cases- just opposing sexuality fog up the mirrors in which we see ourselves, our happiness, and our true feelings for the people around us.
We are often blind-sided by the way our best friends of the opposite sex treat us. Our male friends are for the most part, not trying to sleep with us, not trying to impress us, and when we hang out- they’re not guarded. They still pay for our dinners, they still snuggle up with us, and they still do all the things we need boyfriends for- but it’s free of emotional charge. The running arguments, annoying responsibilities, and our guilty consciences are all not needed, and become dormant inside of us when we’re around these men.
However, sometimes we can be fooled. Sometimes, when these men have a woman in their life (that isn’t us), or when they get busy, or go away for a little while we start to panic. “Maybe we’re more than friends, Maybe we belong together, He can do so much better- and by better- I mean me.” All of these things can sometimes replace our sanity and ability to comprehend the reasons as to why we are NOT together in the first place.
Sometimes the reason why we aren't together can just be blamed on our natural pheremones- we just aren't attracted to one another. Sometimes we're not together because we know each other's tricks far too well to trust each other. Sometimes we're not together because we have our own social laws we have to abide by (our friends dated, our friends are friends, whatever). Worst of all- sometimes we can't date, because we can't afford to lose each other, and we have to save each other for later...because now is not the time.
The latter is easily the hardest reason of all to endure, and likely to be the most mentally taxing. The other reasons can be dug up in the midst of our lapses in reason- and we normally can return to our happy, platonic relationships with the men we care about. However, when we start jarring our friends up- and "saving them for more later", we begin to ruin our relationships with them now. What's more- is we start making plans that don't make sense, and we stop living our lives.
As women unfortunately we are often shocked when men treat us well. If a man is that good to us, that sweet, and that caring- we think he's either gay, or crazy about us. This is not the case. He is this sweet, because he's not trying to be, because we're not waking up next to each other every morning, because he's not getting physical attention from us. That's the beauty of our relationships with these men!
Girls, please live for right now- and wait til you have someone who you don't A) NEED IN YOUR LIFE NOW B) Shudder at the thought of being physical with C) wants to treat you like your best friend does, but look at you like a girlfriend. Do not spend your time making plans, or getting jealous. The most important thing for now is that these men are in your life- and keep up what you have going for as long as possible- because in all honesty: what you've got is pretty amazing.
Love Always,
The Dime
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