I don't have all the answers. Some of you come to me, because you think I know better. Some of you go to your sisters, mothers, best friends- because you think they know better. Some of us rely on therapists, lovers, , magic eight balls- it doesn't matter. We always think that someone else will be able to give us the answer. Someone else will somehow know where we should go, when we lose our way.
In life, and love alike this is never the case. In dating and relationships, we are so easily convinced to veer off path from our own wishes and desires. It is our most important decisions, when the sounds of our own heart and the melodies of our own inner voices die out- and we can only hear what the people around us have to say.
However, it's when we start listening to our loved ones, or admirers, or whomever- when we start running into our real problems. One of my favorite songs has one line, that I think really does ring true for all of us "Because in the end the most important steps are the ones we take all by ourselves."
The only person who knows what you want is you. Don't let anyone convince you how good of a guy they are, or someone they know is. Don't let anyone tell you what's wrong or right for you. That's the same thing as buying a pair of jeans without trying them on, or putting a down payment on a car that you've never test-driven.
These potential relationships we get ourselves into- are the products of a sale. (please, hold the sneers about the shopping references, I know the look on all of your faces- hear me out). These new men in our lives- are literally selling themselves to us. If not physically then emotionally. They simulate what it would be like to be with them, to have them, to own them in some cases. They'd be gentle with us, they'd shelter us, they'd make us look good, they'd accentuate our best features, and hide (accept) our flaws. Just as much as they need to be bought, we need to purchase them. It's the same process of mutual selection.
However, how many times as both shoppers, and lovelorn souls- have we wanted to return an item. How many times has it disappointed us, or do we feel that we were wrongfully convinced? Is there a return policy on the male gender? Can we ever get our money and time back?
So I leave you all with this: Unless it catches YOUR eye in the first place, don't buy it. Don't let anyone ever tell you how great something is. Odds are, if you didn't see it, pick it out, or notice it for yourself- you're not going to go home happy. You're not going to want to take it out of your closet, or garage for a spin. You're not going to be disappointed if it tears, or breaks down.
No one, but you has the answers. No one but you knows what you want. The key to a great purchase, is a helpful salesperson. Someone who gives you their input but ultimately wants what's best for you. Go to your friends, ask for advice. Go to your mothers, sisters, cousins, whoever. Read my blog, listen to what others' input is because it will always help you. But you and you only can make the final decision. Remember that no one else but you that has to wear that dress, or drive that car. The one who has to live with your decision is you. We can all tell you how pretty you look in that new dress, or how great your new ride is. We can all tell you that when we bought something from the same store, we wore it a million times, or that our last model of that car lasted us years. Yet, you need to do yourself a favor, and let the world quiet down- because you're bound to give yourself some great advice. The decisions we make for ourselves, are always the ones we end up happiest with- AND THAT, is a 100% guarantee.
Love Always,
The Dime
No comments:
Post a Comment