Someone walked into the store today, who had recently been broken up with. She knew I too had gone through a similar break up, and decided to seek a little advice about the healing process, and what the best next steps in handling the situation would be. As she's talking, my heart starts to race. I couldn't figure it out. I knew I for the most part was over the break-up she was referring to- so it couldn't have been that. What could possibly be bringing on this new wave of stress I was feeling? Then it hit me. The reason that I for so long have been able to answer these love woes with confidence, was because I, myself can't seem to get it right. The glittering mistakes I point out in my blogs, and the obvious errors I shake my head at, are only so recognizable to me, because I've done it all before.
I write these pieces, calm and collected, thinking I am only inspired by my lovably fruitless friends when it comes to love. However, I too am equally clueless. So maybe, I just haven't written because somewhere inside me, there's a young woman, running in circles like a crazy person, trying to make sense out of her own romantic life.
The truth is, most people just don't know. Even when they're a couple, they fight, make mistakes, make messes, lie, cheat, cry, obsess, you name it. There's never a perfect picture, or a perfect moment. The cycle is complicated the whole way through. Being single is painful, Being in love is full of pain. The in between is equally confusing- never knowing where you stand.
So where does this not so revolutionary epiphany, or dare I say- reality check leave us? What can we take away from this endless ramble, and run-on obvious statement?
I'll tell you- we can stop being so afraid. Just like I don't need to cower, you don't need to cower. The messes, the loneliness, the absolute disasters ARE the stories. We're not working towards anything at all. Our love lives are happening whether we like it or not. Our romantic lives don't stop, they just clear out. Our experiences make us who we are, whether that be an amateur blogger, a therapist for a day, or maybe just someone to sit next to when all else fails. Time doesn't stop, even if we pretend it does. The world doesn't stop turning when we have no one to turn to. Just because nothing epic is happening, doesn't mean we need to see ourselves as epic failures. This is it, right now. Right this very second. There's no destination, just a next stop.
Love Always,
The Dime
