The Convoluted Equation: Finding the Difference Between Fun and the One

As women, it is seemingly our nature to complicate our own emotions, by making plans. We are programmed to be obsessed with the idea of romance, and those of us who aren't are "new-age" or considered "modern." However this week, I can not help but wonder, is being resistant to archaic ideals about romance really modern? Or is it- dare I say- much more fun?

Every single time I've found a significant other, I seem to start making all of these ridiculous plans, and wondering; what will my friends think? What will my parents think? How will we work if we last until this point, and what about if we last until then? The sad truth is, I've made all of these plans but for what? It's never worked out. Here I sit and write to my readers completely single. Carefree, and happy. Wait...I'm single, carefree, and happy. I am not making plans currently, because there's no one to make plans for.

Now here's an idea- what if I applied this attitude to a relationship? What if, I went into something, NOT expecting a proposal. What if I recognized that I was 19 years old, and not ready to settle down. What if I stopped choosing people for their futures, and started focusing on my present? Perhaps things would be better. Perhaps some of the disappointment would wear away, and perhaps I'd stop worrying about what people look like on paper, throw away their resumes, and start seeing what they're actually working with.

Sometimes, the people we choose in the long run, didn't seem like they'd be relationships that would run very long. We keep looking for this "happy ending", this "grand gesture"- but all of this waiting is just a way to miss out on a happy middle. Maybe our nights aren't ending with kisses in central park, or a surprise knock on our door in torrential downpour- but maybe it's because we're not letting them.

Sometimes having fun, is more important than finding the one. Sometimes, the one is the fun one. Plans fall through, but happiness never does. People will come and go out of our lives, so why worry about it now? When the time comes for an engagement ring, by all means sit down and evaluate. However if you're laughing, and having a good time...fun> finding the one.

Love Always,

The Dime

The Crazy In All Of Us

Let's face it- we're all a little nuts. We're obsessive, determined, anxious, you name it- and we got it.

We all have been the crazy one before. We all have blown things out of proportion, spent hours worrying, and lost control. That's just the way we are with things that we're passionate about. Or at least things we think we are passionate about.

If we loved the people we loved for being perfect, we'd never love anyone at all. I can guarantee anyone that the person they love most in this world, is a TOTAL freak. In truth, we all are. We love our smartest companions for their eccentricity, and nerdy-ness. We love our best friends for being wild, and their quirks. We love our Mothers for their insane questions and worries, we love our dads for being excited about stupid things, and telling gross jokes behind our mothers' backs. We all love the class clown because they dare to be different, and we love our significant others for fighting to be with us, or for going where no person has ever gone before with us (get your mind out of the gutter, that's purely mental....unless you don't want it to be ;)).

There's method to all of our madness. We obsess because we love, we cry because we care, we fight because we have to hold on, and we go out of our way because we can't let go. When you're a little kid, people tell you that your parents, and your grandparents yell at you and push you because "they love you." As a little kid- you find that so hard to believe. You sit there and wonder why people would treat you poorly if they love you. As you get older, you start to understand the craziness a little more. You start to see where the worry comes from, why the yelling has to happen, and everything falls into place. You repeat the cycles you went through as a little kid but now it's you making the corrections. Now it's you sitting at home worrying about a boy, or fighting with a best friend.

We all have skeletons in our closets, we all have weird kinks in our systems. We're afraid of irrational things, we're obsessed with the wrong men, we're afraid of the right ones. We can't see the beautiful women looking back at us in the mirror, and we can't imagine who would be CRAZY enough to love us. We want to be skinnier, and taller, and shorter, and bigger, we want people to think we're funnier, to take us more seriously- we always want to be something else, or extra of what we've already got. We're all nuts, that's all there is to it.

We all do crazy things, say crazy things, and think crazy things. We love the craziest people, and we're craziest with the people we love. We all have our quirks, twerks, and fears. Never be crazy enough to lose someone crazy about you- because you'll drive yourself crazy, especially if it was just because they were crazy.

Love Always,

The Dime